idk what to do. i say this 1000 times a day, everyday. i felt horrible last night/ this morning. been awake since 6 am. i think the worst thing that i heard you tell me, was that i couldn't make you happy. That destroyed me. Bc that made me think ill never have a chance with you in a million years. i think what gave me the horrible feeling yesterday, was the horrible things i said about her. I wish you told me i was the only one for you, but obv im not. i mean, thinking about it a lot. what chance do i have against those SVA guys. They're there and i am here. I have to face the fact that a lot of artsy people are hot. i should just shut the fuck up now. Deprived of happyness...