:(

my mood is uncertain. I wasn't planning on writing on this till maybe the summer. but then my cousin came in to my room crying and drunk. while he was talking to me about what had happened between him and marisol. I realized this is his breaking point. Where he can't take more of the pain anymore. He can't take both of the girls playing him like a fucking toy. He has done nothing wrong, and has only tried to do good. He.does.not.deserve.this. This really ticks me off and makes me dispise girls so much. How could you play with an innocent man like that, do you have no heart or soul. Some of you guys try so hard to be greater then the man that you forget what the fuck it is about and that good guys don't care about that, all they care about is you. they want love not pain. one thing that surpised me while he was talking to me though, which to me shows he cares very much about me and doesn't want to see me like he is now is. He came in to not only vent but warn me. As he left the room..in a flash..i felt immediate sadness. the kind of sadness you can't take and you wish would never come. All it does is make you think, think, think, think, think. Think about the past, present, future, and memories. I don't think ill sleep anymore.


I hope one day..one day..any person could walk this sea, not through the mist, but through the sunlight. With eyes not in our back but in our heart.